Chapter Text
Legundo carefully places his new wares into his chest. The boat rocks, and he almost drops the lanterns held in his hands. As he reaches to put another stack in, he drops them out of shock when a disembodied voice yells, “BELL NOISES!”
“AHHH!” Legundo jumps, dropping most of the lanterns into the water below the rocking boat. He hears a laugh coming from below him, and he instantly recognizes the perpetrator. “Viking!” All Legundo gets in response is another laugh, followed by the phantom man's ascent to the boat's surface, his body see-through but the copy of his own head visible. “You are such a scaredy-pig!” “Shut the hell up!”
“And what'cha gonna' do if I don't?” “Well, first I'm going to shoot you with my crossbows repeatedly until you're unrecognizable, then I'm going to burn you alive, and to finish it off I'm going to bash your bones in with my hammers.” “Keep going and one day you might just be half as terrifying as me when I’m planning for the ritual!” “Huh- I'm not even going to question it. What are you doing here, Viking?”
Viking floats down to Legundo's level, and becomes visible, shedding the fake head atop his actual noggin in favor of a diamond helmet. “What a rude way to talk to a friend.” “Friend? You think we’re friends? Must I remind you how you almost forced me into stealing the whole population's riches and got Fix to cause the Blood Moon to rise?” “Good times Leg… Good times…”
“How was that good? Most of us lost everything because of you!” “Hey, I didn't tell Fix to steal the diamonds, he did that himself-” “Well you made me try to steal them!” “And I used Fix’s IOU to get him to stop you.” “Huh?” “So, picture this. I make you steal the diamonds filled with cursed void energy because of your debt to me, and Fix, also sent by me, rushes to stop you. You don't want to hurt anyone, but you know they can just respawn and it's not like it's perma-death. So you quickly kill Fix due to your superior skill, higher health, and stronger tools. You then rush back to me via wave stone, deliver the diamonds to my vault, and I kindly let you stay the night with me and Taneesha to see my ritual- I mean, fun family-friendly practices that do not involve memory recovery. You are forced to accept the offer because by now, Fix has spread word to all of us and you are now the most wanted man on Dominion. Which means you’d be able to help me complete my… *ahem* …practices. Now that is what you call chaos. And it's beautiful.”
Legundo stops for a moment, considering this, his probably-golden-mind-gears turning in his head. After a moment, he responds. “Wow… You really have thought of everything…” He doesn’t even question Viking’s accidental remarks about a ritual. “When it comes to planning for death, doom, and destruction, ol’ Viking is the best at it. I do crave chaos, being a phantom and all.” At that moment, they are interrupted by a female voice coming from the shore. “So, uhh, Viking, is this one of your friends?”
Legundo turns to meet the voice and sees it's a female that he does not recognize. She is slightly smaller than usual and has strange features. “Ah Red! So glad you could make it!” Viking exclaims. “Care to introduce me?” Legundo asks, shedding his previous anger and confusion for a more debonair attitude that he usually uses when he's trying to make a deal. He was a piglin after all. “Red, this is Legundo, Legundo, this is Red.” “Red, would you like to peruse my many wares here at Whatever Floats Your Boat? We sell whatever floats your boat!”
“Huh?” “Red, this is the greedy piglin friend we talked about earlier.” Ignoring Viking, Red responds to Legundo with “Really? Whatever floats my boat? Like, whatever I want?” “Yep,” Legundo answers. “So… How about mutton? Do you have mutton?” “No, I do not, but I could gather some for you.” “Wow!” Red exclaims. “How much mutton do you want?” Viking just watches in amusem*nt as the two make a deal. “Maybe… Three stacks?”
“Alright, three stacks it is! That'll cost you 16 diamonds!” “16 diamonds?!” Red says loudly in surprise. “Tell ya what! Since you're new here, I'll sell you the mutton half-off, for 8.” “That's still pretty expensive…” “Take it or leave it. Or…” “Or what?” “Since I'm a piglin… I would also accept gold.” “How much?” “32 ingots.” Red shrugs. “Seems doable.” “So do we have a deal?” Legundo asks. “Absolutely.” Legundo pulls out his colorful elytra and a firework and takes off into the sky and lands next to Red on the shores of New Haven.
He extends his hand, and she accepts it. Viking then faces through the ground and rises up next to the two of them. “I see you're already getting the hang of bartering with a piglin!” “Why didn't you introduce me to her sooner? She seems like a great customer.” “Well, we met yesterday,” Red explains. “Hey Leg, I have another surprise for you!” “What is it?” “Come on out Nuke!” From out of the trees soars an elytrian, landing right next to the trio. Legundo instantly recognizes the flying man. “Nukerii!” “Legundo!”
The two hug each other. Although neither had been super close and they were always competing with each other, they’re just relieved to see each other again. After all, Legundo never liked losing any of his fellow Dominion friends, despite his peculiar *ahem* circ*mstances. Although they could just respawn if they died, the void takeover that had happened caused some people to not come back, which is why they are much more careful now than they were before the… event… that put them in this situation.
After a few seconds, they let go. “Nuke, where have you been?! We thought the void must have killed you!” “Haha, no. I still don’t understand what you're talking about, but don’t worry, as I am fine.” “Wait, do you not know about the void apocalypse that destroyed spawn?”
“I remember a bunch of lightning when I was trying to sleep, waking up the next morning and finding a bunch of weird plants, and all of you guys were missing and I couldn’t find you. The I jumped into an end portal, and this weird floating guy in a cloak told me to take a leap into the unknown and I would see you guys, and so I jumped into the void for like, 2 minutes, then I found myself on your boat and I met Viking and Joy again, and now I’m reuniting with you.”
Legundo sports a look of confusion for a few seconds, before grabbing Viking and walking about 10 blocks away, far enough to where he feels comfortable that the others won’t hear them. “Viking,” he whispers, “What’s happening? How did you find Nuke and the good-for-business girl? Is anyone else back? Why-” Viking turned away. “Don’t worry Legundo, everything’s fiiiiiiiine. Now let’s get back-”
“Viking, you answer my questions, or I shoot you with my crossbow!” “Oh, that reminds me!” “Of answering my questions?” “No. I was just wondering how many late fees your promise to me has accumulated? How long has it been? 4 months? 5?” With that, Legundo pulled out a firework and soared away with his elytra, making Viking chuckle and walk back to Red and Nuke.
